I’ve never been one to make new year’s resolutions. I know they usually fail, and they’re far too vague to be of much use to me. This year in particular, new year’s resolutions seem to be even more futile… after all, how do you make a long-term commitment when the world is upside down and you don’t know what to expect?
But all is not lost; you can still make 2021 a good year. After all, it has to be better than 2020, right? Right….?
Continue reading “New Year’s Resolutions When You Don’t Know What to Expect”
I have a new obsession. It’s called Habitica, and it’s become a huge part of my life for the last month or so.
I had been looking for a checklist app of some kind, so I didn’t have to keep re-writing the same tasks over and over. Bullet Journals and Day Books are fine and all, but there’s only so much time in a day. Sometimes we have to look for speedier ways of doing things. I used to have the app Home Routines on my phone and I really loved it, but once I left the iPhone world, I was out of luck: Home Routines does not have an Android version. In my search for a new checklist-type app, I had run across Habitica before, but I’m not a big fan of pixel art, so I had not given it the time of day. But eventually I decided to give it a shot, and am I ever glad I did!
Continue reading “Habitica: An Awesome Self-Development Tool”
How to Be a Good Listener: Developing Positive Communication Skills
I’m a talker. Sometimes, I talk too much. But over the course of many years and many mishaps, I have finally learned how to be a good listener. I still talk too much, and sometimes I still mess up (a we all do). But I try to truly listen when I’m having a conversation, and to consider someone’s points before responding. This is important in every day conversation, but it’s even more important when conflict is involved.
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When we tell everyone that they’re “responsible for their own feelings,” we lose something we need desperately in our world: compassion.
I see it time and time again when someone mentions being triggered, or when someone has a hard time dealing with a confrontation. There’s always that one person (or several people) proclaiming, “no one controls your feelings but you.” Or “You’re responsible for your own feelings.” Or they quote Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” And while all that might be true, it ignores one very important factor: the aggressor is responsible for the actions they take, too. And they’re responsible for the consequences of those actions.
Continue reading “Everyone is responsible for their own feelings.”
I saw the most hilarious meme on Facebook the other day. It stated: “No tattoos for me. My body is a temple.” In response, the caption reads, “Temples:” and the photo is of a very ornate cathedral full of intricate works of art.
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I’ve been having a hard time lately, comparing myself with people two to three decades older than me. On days when my pain is especially bad and my joints aren’t cooperating, it’s hard to see a 60-year-old who can move better than me. On days when I compare myself to people like this, I tend to get depressed. And therein lies the problem: we have to stop comparing, because wherever we are, we are good enough.
Continue reading “Stop Comparing: You’re Good Enough As You Are”
I love reading.
But this love didn’t start early. As a child, I loved writing, but reading really wasn’t my thing. Recently, I had an epiphany. When I was a child, I was pushed fiction books to read all the time. That’s about all we were given (other than textbooks, obviously) as kids in school.
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I love connecting people to resources, whether those resources are other people, information, or places. And whereas that looks helpful, the truth is, it could be seen as a pretty selfish thing to do. I help others because helping others makes me feel good. And we all like to feel good, don’t we? And making me feel good is not the only advantage of helping others. It turns out that it helps people remember who I am—and that’s pretty good for business.
Continue reading “Seek to Serve: Improving Yourself by Helping Others”
So… you’re a procrastinator. It’s OK, you can admit it.
Most of us had no issue calling ourselves out in school. When we were up all night finishing an assignment that was due the next day, we’d just say it: I procrastinated. Then we became adults, and realized adulting is hard. Missing deadlines now have bigger consequences than failing a class. Especially if you’re a freelance writer. Or a mom who’s also a freelance writer. If procrastination is getting you down, it’s time to make things right by setting some goals that actually work.
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I’m not great with accountability. Let me rephrase that. I’m an accountable person when it comes to my work. But when it comes to personal goals, I often don’t do well with accountability strategies, such as checking in with an accountability buddy. But I think that’s just because I hadn’t found “my people” yet.
Continue reading “Accountability in Practice: How I Stay Accountable with My Personal Goals”