Dad Jokes (no, wait, they’re mom jokes!)

picture of a horse that looks like it's laughing. Hilarious dad jokes on www.marianamcdougall.com Photo by Mikael Kristenson on Unsplash

Dad jokes aren’t lame; they’re awesome. Said the mother.

Dad jokes are all over the Internet—and all over my house. Thing is, the mom is the one telling the dad jokes at my place, and the dad is the one rolling his eyes.

I love puns and am very easily amused. You could either self-righteously tell me that “puns are the lowest form of wit” (which is total BS, by the way), or you could see that being easily amused makes me a very happy person who smiles a lot and is (sometimes) a joy to be around. Unless I’m telling lame jokes, in which case you may want to find another companion. Or shake your head and face-palm; either works and I don’t mind.

I also find “dad jokes” great because they’re innocent enough that I can tell my children, and we can all share a laugh together. I figured today, after writing about some serious issues like elephant poaching and the health care system failing chronically ill Canadians, I should write something a little more lighthearted. So here’s a small collection of puns and dad jokes (or mom jokes) that you can laugh at, retell, or simply shake your head at. Cheers!

 

Hilarious (or not) dad jokes, www.marianamcdougall.com. Picture of a white horse hat looks like it's laughing.

Dad jokes to bring down the house (or get some eyes rolling and heads shaking)

I’ll start with one of my favourite puns I heard from a pun-loving friend, Norm. This is not one you can necessarily re-tell (unless you have the props), but it’s funny enough to warrant including here. My husband made some exercise equipment out of PVC pipes. Norm grabbed them, did some shoulder presses, and said, “check out these pipes!” It was hilarious.

And here are some dad jokes you can retell.

Here’s one of my own invention: 

What do you call owls who love to have fun?

¡ʇooɥ ∀

Here are a couple of jokes we have enjoyed, from a book called “Good Clean Jokes to Drive Your Parents Crazy,” by Bob Phillips. I picked up this book at a thrift store near our house. Best .25 I ever spent.

What do you get if you put a light bulb inside a suit of armour?

¡ʇɥƃıן-ʇɥƃıuʞ ∀

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?

¡pǝʌɐʍ ʇsnɾ ʇı ‘ƃuıɥʇoN

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

˙sʍouʞ ʎpoqoN

 

And here are some from Bored Panda, from a post compiling 99 of the best dad jokes others have shared. Some of them are a little out there and not really kid-appropriate, and I strongly disagree with the author’s stance that dad jokes must be told by dads (see above). Regardless, the ones below made me chuckle.

 

Did you know the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

 

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

 

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!

 

As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.

 

I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.

 

Hopefully those jokes put a smile on your face (or made you groan). Keep spreading good cheer with good clean dad (or mom) jokes 🙂

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.