Tag: relationships

Everyone is responsible for their own feelings.

Mariana

When we tell everyone that they’re “responsible for their own feelings,” we lose something we need desperately in our world: compassion.

I see it time and time again when someone mentions being triggered, or when someone has a hard time dealing with a confrontation. There’s always that one person (or several people) proclaiming, “no one controls your feelings but you.” Or “You’re responsible for your own feelings.” Or they quote Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  And while all that might be true, it ignores one very important factor: the aggressor is responsible for the actions they take, too. And they’re responsible for the consequences of those actions.

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Do You Believe in Romance After Kids?

Mariana

Romance after kids: Is it possible?

I’m not going to lie: romance after kids is hard. After having my third child, romance fell to the bottom of my priority list. Between diaper changes (and EC life), caring for two toddlers while breastfeeding and getting used to a newborn, keeping up a house and cooking, there wasn’t much time left for anything else. By the end of the day, I was completely exhausted, and I just wanted to sleep. And many moms of young children feel the same way. But it doesn’t have to be like this. Keeping the romance alive in your marriage is not only possible, it’s an important part of a thriving relationship.

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Valentine’s Day? No thanks.

Mariana

Valentine’s Day has never been a big day for me and hubby. Perhaps it’s because Valentine’s day is not celebrated in Brazil (where I’m originally from); perhaps it’s because I smelled consumerism from a mile away the minute I heard about this holiday. Perhaps it’s both.

Whatever the reason might be, early on in our relationship I let my then-boyfriend (now husband) know that I neither expected nor wanted anything for Valentine’s Day, save maybe a letter or a card. And this was not a test; I actually meant what I said (why do women do that? “Test” their partners? Mean what you say, please).

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An open letter to those sharing anti-immigration sentiments on Facebook.

Mariana

The following post isn’t about writing. It isn’t about following dreams (well, at least not directly). But something has been on my mind since seeing a terrible meme on Facebook, and I needed to get these words out there. I was too disappointed for words after seeing someone who is supposedly a friend post anti-immigration sentiments on Facebook. What does that say about our supposed friendship? How does this person truly see me? Why is there this hatred of people in search of a better life, who are fleeing from unspeakable acts of violence? It is this kind of hatred and prejudice that creates the need for refugees to immigrate in the first place. Please, take the time to read my letter, and really consider the impact of your posts on social media before clicking the next share button on such a thoughtless meme.

Please note that this letter is my sole opinion and sentiment and does not represent the views of the Canadian Naval Reserves or any other military branch.

An open letter to those sharing anti-immigration sentiments on Facebook.

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